Notes From Memory II: You Drink Too Much

Narrative:

About three months ago, not long after I started working at the Vagabond (the jazz bar mentioned in the lass post), the manager of the bar (Oohashisan) had a birthday party. During the party, one of the other employees opened a bottle of absinthe. I had some on the rocks along with everyone else. Absentmindedly, I drank mine much faster than everyone else. To exclamations of haiyaine (that was fast, wasn't it?). I made a joke by asking if the green absinthe wasn't melon soda (also green) and got some laughs out of everyone. Someone poured me another drink. In about an hour I had two drinks and then left for home. The next day, I was greeted at work by the phrase nombe (someone who drinks too much). The word has been used to refer to me ever since.

Two weeks ago, my wife and I accompanied other Vagabond employees to Nasu (a resort region not far from Tokyo). We stayed in a private onsen (hot spring resort) where, as a group, we brought our own drinks and food. About 5 p.m. two other male employees (Miyazakisan & Makiyasan) opened a bottle of wine and offered me a glass. I drank one. About an hour later, the cook at Vagabond, Ookumasan, asked me if I wanted to drink more wine or sake. I choose sake and in doing so seemed to have violated some social norm. After getting my glass almost everyone exclaimed "haiyaine, Toreba!" (It's too early for that isn't it Trevor?"). I decided to slow down and remember being confused that the Ookumasan would give me sake if it were too early to drink it.

Throughout the night Ookumasan offered my many glasses of sake, almost all of which I refused. He would show me the bottle as say something like, "Why aren't you drinking? You usually drink more." He would hold up the bottle and laugh. He told my wife that I wasn't drinking enough.

After work (the first day back from our trip to Nasu) Ookumasan said, "Your wife is controlling, isn't she?" I actually didn't understand the Japanese word he used so he went on to explain: "Usually your drinks go down very easy, but in Nasu you didn't drink very much because your wife was there." I tried to explain that I usually don't drink that much, but he laughed and didn't seem to believe me. My Japanese isn't good enough to argue.

Thoughts:

These experiences have taught me several things, some about "Japanese Culture" (If we want to pretend it can be isolated) and about being a foreigner. About Japanese culture, despite what many visitors to Japan believe, there are social taboos about drinking. As my experience shows, a person can be quickly labeled.

About being Foreign: The desire to fit in is extremely strong when living in a country that is not your home. Additionally, as someone who wants to participate in Japanese life to the fullest extent, I have suspended many of my own social norms. It has become almost second nature not to do what comes instinctively but to use what every other person is doing as a model for my own action. Unfortunately, this approach backfires from time to time. As a foreigner I seem to be under a microscope and people are constantly turning out generalizations about me or applying generalizations about America to me (Americans like to get drunk and act crazy...). Thus, if I imitate the wrong person or group of people, my reputation suffers. Furthermore, this need to belong is easily exploited. Foreigners who want to fit in are easy prey and cheap entertainment. As my experience in Nasu shows, Ookumasan offered me wine (not Japanese) and Sake. Out of a desire to show appreciation for Japanese culture (a desire to impress Japanese people with my taste for Japanese things) I chose sake. I thought this was innocent. Ookumasan, however, knew it was too early for Sake, yet he went out of his way to offer it to me. Throughout the night, he laughed every time he tried to give me more and often expressed his disappointment with my unexpected self-control by saying: "Why aren't you drinking? You usually drink more." [That he said, "You usually drink more" is especially interesting since he had actually never seen me drink over the course of more than one hour. His "usually" seems to have been an assumption based perhaps on what he thinks about Americans my age.] It is not the first, and probably not the last, time I've been entrapped by a desire to experience Japan and fit in. Caught up in his own paradoxical belief, that I drink too much yet wasn't drinking heavily, Ookumasan resorted to a third party explanation--the controlling wife. Preconceived notions about foreigners appear to die only as a last resort. Finally, if a foreigner can't speak the language of his new country very well (as in my case), social self-defense is out of the question. Again using my experience with Ookumasan, I was unable to explain why I didn't drink as much as he wanted in Nasu and why it had nothing to do with my wife. He still persists in his believe that I am a nombe and my wife is controlling. Those who can't speak fluently (or if fluent, can't speak quickly) are ignored, blamed, judged and labeled all on the basis of stereotypes about their home country and the assumption that their actions are always genuine (as opposed to being desperate attempts to fit in). I find that I am more often placed in neat pre-formed categories than evaluated on my own merit.

Notes From Memory I: Why the Foreign?

[Ideally, all of my notes about being a foreigner in Japan, including discussions with other "outside people", would be written the day they happened. Unfortunately, it didn't occur to me to begin writing them down until a year after my arrival in Tokyo. I will have to rely on my memory. "Notes From Memory" contains those strong impressions of my experience that are difficult to forget. They are the painful and the humorous, not exactly scientific but instructive non-the-less as a reflection on the consciousness of a reflective foreigner. These notes are produced with this fact in mind: That "foreigner" is the only role that can be fully played by a participant observer.]

When I came to Tokyo I had a desire to learn about Japanese culture. After a year in the city, I am even more confused. As I have learned, cultures are not discrete. Japan in general, and Tokyo specifically, is full of gaijin (outside people). This presents something of a problem for Japanese social consciousness because it violates the most fundamental division of the universe-- Japanese vs. foreign. It is also a problem for the anthropologically minded that wants to know about "Japanese culture." Perhaps this is why anthropologists prefer rural settings that are less likely to be contaminated by other cultures-- or reality. The jazz bar where I work part-time is a good example. At times, up to half of the employees are immigrants, mostly from China or Korea. For these reasons, Foreignness itself seems like an appropriate candidate for observation, reflection and writing.